Ultimate Guide to Using Your Doula for All She’s Worth

WRITTEN BY MEGAN FLEEMAN SSEKABIRA

Are you considering hiring a doula?  A doula is a non-medical birth professional hired by the birthing family exclusively to assist in birth preparation and provide labor and postpartum support.  The word doula comes from the Greek, and means ‘servant’.  A doula is equipped to serve your family and address concerns related to your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being so that you can spend your energy doing the all encompassing important work of becoming a mother, whether it’s your first or fifth time. 

Unlike the other staff in a hospital setting who are in and out as they are able, your doula is present for you only, giving you and your partner her undivided attention.  In a home birth setting, doulas help prepare you for the unique options available for a low risk, empowered birth experience.  While your care provider is there overseeing and meeting the health needs of you and your baby, your doula ensures you are well fed, hydrated, rested, using movement as needed, and as confident and comfortable as possible.  A doula knows when to suggest trying something new and provides hands-on comfort techniques - all discreetly of course so that mom’s hormonal flow remains unhindered, an essential aspect for natural progress! 

Your doula is also there to support your birth partner so that they can ultimately best support YOU.  They also need food, drinks, and pee breaks, and may need to know when to shut their well meaning pie hole!  If we had a dollar for every time we’ve heard a birthing mom tell her partner to “SHHH!” or “SHUT UP!”  No offense birth partners, their primitive brains shouldn’t be spending any energy worrying about you anyhow, and a doula present can help reassure you both of that. 

After the birth, your doula is an incredible resource because she’s well networked within the community to professional postpartum/baby care specialists, lactation consultants, chiropractors, massage therapists, mental health therapists and other practitioners that specialize in newborn heath.

You may have questioned your need for a doula, or how you can afford the expense in a time when you’re financially preparing to raise a tiny human for the next 18 years.  We would argue you cannot afford to birth without a doula, and that ain’t just the Doula in us talking!  

Here are 5 solid tips for using your Doula for all she’s worth!

1. Your team & time is of the essence.

While it’s almost never too late to hire your doula, it’s never too early either!  In all the rush to check off to-do’s for baby prep, many couples delay one of the most important decisions--finalizing their birth team.  Waiting to choose your doula wastes time that you could be utilizing her as an invaluable resource throughout your pregnancy.  Most doulas take a limited number of clients per month, so hiring early ensures you find the doula you vibe the best with while and ensures you have plenty of time to develop that solid, trusted relationship.  You pay the same amount for doula support no matter when you hire, so take the most advantage of the time you have with your doula and put it at the top of your checklist!  When it comes to the perfect match, don’t agonize or overthink your decision.  Factor in your budget and the type of personality and experience you prefer.  The doula relationship is much like friendship or love, when you know, you know!  

2. Who, where, and why: Know your priorities

One of the most important decisions you’ll make in your pregnancy journey is birth location and provider.  These two decisions determine so much of what options you have available to you during your birth and recovery.  While your setting and provider aren’t predictive of whether you’ll experience your desired birth outcome, these factors greatly impact your birth experience and your feelings about how it all unfolds.  Explore your priorities.  If you value a certain type of experience, ask yourself, ‘Does this care provider offer or support the experience I want?”  Also consider whether your location of choice has the facility and policies that are supportive of your birth preferences. 

What does any of this have to do with doula support?  While your doula is on your team and ready to empower you in any scenario, it is not her job to override hospital policies and the practices of your provider- in fact, to do so would disrupt the peace and calm you need when birthing your baby.  Doulas are familiar with care providers in their area and can recommend a practice based on your birth preferences and important considerations like risk factors that require a specific setting.  Would you prefer to labor in water?  Do you prefer to see the same provider for most of your pregnancy?  Let your priorities guide the way to your preferences! 

3. Knowledge is power that leads to your empowerment!

As natural as the transition to motherhood can seem once you see the sweet face of your baby for the first time, preparing for your birth doesn’t come naturally - it requires thoughtful preparation!  Taking a childbirth class is of the utmost importance.  Childbirth classes are essential for first-time moms, and moms who are planning a birth experience different from their previous ones, whether that be a VBAC, unmedicated birth, or a birth in which you want to feel empowered to make choices.  While an aspect of your doula’s role is educational support, she can’t always replace the 10-15 hours you’ll spend learning the ins and outs of what to expect from labor, including practicing for the big day.  You can use your doula by using her as a soundboard for more personal concerns related to what you learned in your classes.  She can help you be an informed, consenting participant! 

4. Remember: You have the power, birth preferences help!

Your doula will help you formulate your birth preferences. Some people call this a ‘Birth Plan,’ but we at NOVA like to talk in terms of preferences, because labor and birth is not a process that can be planned.  Getting your birth preferences down on paper allows your doula, your partner, and your birth team (nurses, midwive, doctor, etc.) to honor your preferences when you’re in the throes of labor and unable to dictate your desires. Doulas help you know all your options so you can decide what choices are best for you and your baby.  By using the knowledge you gain from your childbirth classes and your prenatal doula meetings, your preferences provide a guide for your doula and birth team to support you to confidently accomplish the work of labor. 

5. Don’t forget your birth partner!

Doulas are for birth partners too.  Even the most attuned partners can be nervous and not know the helpful thing to do or say in labor.  A partner’s experience is enhanced by the presence of your doula.  Everyone’s role on the birth team is significant and your partner’s support is irreplaceable.  Involving your partner in the process of interviewing/choosing your doula ensures that they are a key part of the team you are building.  Your doula will help your partner know how to best support you prenatally and offer cues in the birth setting. Birth is a team effort and you will feel more at ease knowing that your partner is both involved and supported.